it’s been too long && induced hunger.

a series of events has transpired which really threw me off my groove and I have not made time to type out my thoughts, but just like anything: here we are.

I missed typing out my ideas and just clearing my head.

a few things I think are funny/worth mentioning since my last time on here.

life got very real.

I was out of town for a few weeks with very little time to access my computer.

I met a lot of really cool people and learned more what I want from.

I was in The Birds.

the sales industry seems to be where I’ve been able to see my truest self. all of my personal shortcomings, all of my natural gifts, all of the lies that I have previously passed off onto myself, and all the things that I hold to such a strong degree at my core all shine through. through this vessels, I have been able to see my wants, needs, and desires more clearly than ever before which is where I would say that I am the most uncomfortable with at the moment.

I have spent so many years of my life (most of it until this point) aimless, but more importantly, I have spent many of my years without a desire to see any of my goals through. I think that in a general sense, I wanted these things to happen, but I did not put forth enough effort, focus, or commitment to say that I did everything in my power to get the result that I want.

one question I have for you is:

do you hate losing more than you love winning?

from my perspective at this moment in time (11:47PM - 19MAY2026) - I think theres a bit of both that you need to have (i.e. you need to hate losing more sometimes and other times you need to love to win.) to get to your goals and it’s context dependent. from conversations with owners of their own companies, most seem to share the opinion that they might hate losing more than they love winning, so maybe it’s time to start re - wiring my brain. lots to sit with on this.

induced hunger.

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induced hunger. 〰️

some of my thoughts from the past couple weeks that I wrote down in my spare moments (no time specific dates that I can remember)

I would say that I have given life a good go. maybe sometimes in the past, I could have tried harder, but it’s never been a terrible outing. perhaps that’s the biggest shame. because if it had been a terrible outting, it would have been that, but the life that I have experienced through me has always been great. even when it sucks, it’s been great.

I’ve been broke, but never hungry. I’ve always had a roof over my head even if I struggled with keeping up with the bills. through heartbreak, I’ve had support. experiencing growing pains, I’ve had guidance. through it all, I’ve had God. even when it’s not readily apparent through my actions, I am a believer and that subconscious belief, that faith has kept me grounded.

through it all, I’ve always wondered if there’s a way to induce hunger in oneself. if there was a way to make yourself more hungry than what you were. I wondered: “if I starved myself, would I be hungry or would I keep my faith?”

God is funny. I’ve been asking myself this question for a little bit now and I guess I get to see what some induced hunger will do to you.

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ATL

Quite a different experience than I was expecting. 

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KNX

today, I got carried over the finish line, and that feeling sucks so much

if I’m going to get any better, I need to keep my mind sharp and fixated on the positive outcomes, and I will to get better. this is what I want to do. 

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becoming undeniably good is the only goal. 

everything else follows.

sales, interviewing, recruiting, 

from the chateau.

action / everything.

all praise is due to the most high.